Greetings.   Day one of new Dream Blog and inspired thoughts.

Dream:  Swimming out to a floating raft with several others.   A black bear (my totem) swims along next to me.  I'm cautious of his company but comfortable at the same time.  On the raft siting next to my bear companion I see there is a large shark in the ocean and I'm filled with fear.  The bear slips into the water and swims next to the shark with no confrontation.  I find myself in the water swimming towards the raft but it's getting farther away.  With determination I make it back onto the raft and the bear rejoins me.

I normally keep a written dream journal, but I will be continuing on with this blog.  One, because I have terrible printing (especially first thing in the morning), and two I wanted to share this gift with everyone.

Inspired thought:   Maintaining your health is a form of spiritual practice.  Respecting yourself and others is spiritual practice.  Creating (art) is a form of spiritual practice. 

I believe I will begin to transcribe my past dreams here.

Michael

Spirit, mind, body... oh how cliché. Or is it?

I believe I've been blessed with a unique gift. I have an insight into this miraculous spirit, mind body connection that not many have. From a young baby I have been hypogonadal which basically means I don't produce enough testosterone on my own, so when I was 16 I began taking testosterone injections for hormone replacement. Talk about a late bloomer! So for 15 or so years I've been jabbing my hip with a needle to inject bovine testosterone into my body. After this injection I am hyper-aware of the change to my thought content, libido, aggression, sense of self importance, ego, power and energy level.

It is amazing how this molecule has the ability to completely change how I feel, what I think about, how important I think I am, and my I project myself into this world. So, to me the connection between body (physiological hormones and molecules) and mind (ego, identity, thought content) is more real than I sometimes like. In contrast, when I stop taking testosterone I am also aware of the change to thought content and sense of power and importance.

What this means is that I am aware that the thoughts in my mind are not necessarily who, "I AM."

This concept has also been popularized by the book The Power of Now and the series. An interesting experiment one might do is try meditating, and watch your brain like a mouse hole waiting to see what comes out. You know its only a matter of time until the brain does what it does best and think. I have to pick up the laundry, I need to clean the garage, I wonder why that person is nuts, etc.

Its neat then, after taking my shot and doing this my brain might spew out stuff like, "Boy, that was a sexy lady," or, "I'm so happy to be me I'm so special and important and good at pretty much everything I do." Not joking! Its the awareness that these thoughts are not who I AM is the special gift I've been given by having hypogonadism.

I'll save the more taboo topic of spirit molecules for another day!

Dancing or Riding the Snake

I'm not talking about your average night club bumping and grinding. Dance along with drumming and other vehicles is a way to get your foot in the spiritual door per se. I expect you're either nodding your head or shaking it, as you either know what I'm talking about or you really really don't. Most cultures have utilized dance for spiritual ritual or practice for ages.

My first experience with dance was at a rave. Not exactly an environment for inward journeys, but it was the first time I got a glimpse of the spirit world, through dance. What a sight I was I'm sure, eyes closed in the dark, alone. Traveling at blinding speeds through other dimensions and worlds, ebbing a weaving with the flow of drum and bass.

With dance having so many cultural uses from eroticism to formal balls to even dancing with the stars, it is amazing the power that it holds. You know you are seeing something special when you see dance, almost like looking at a rainbow or shooting star.

Riding the snake. Peruvian shamans totem animal is the anaconda. They see the snake as the vehicle or carrier of the shaman to the spirit world. Interestingly, it seems to have some connection with the double stranded DNA. Talk about an inward journey! This is however, very far removed from our day to day western life, unfortunately.

So, perhaps some day when you are alone you will play some music and dance around your kitchen table and travel to some far away place. Even if you don't go anywhere, its great for the body, the mind and the soul!

Click ME!

This is the quick story of how this site came to be and I am where I am. 

I was born a dreamer... literally.  I've always since as young as I can remember left on grand journeys every night.  Lucid, vivid dreams all night long.  A bit of a inter dimensional traveler if you will.  Yet, the real change started about two years ago.  I was faced with absolute psychological devastation.  I won't go into details, however, the trials were so great that even the fabric of reality tore in front of my eyes, literally.  I'm sure there are others that can relate to this level of deconstruction.  It was during this time that I had three divine dreams where I was awoken by The light.

Dream 1 - I stand in an old English pub style room.  The area is dim but I can see a group of about 10 people in a circle in front of me with one person in the middle. I see they are reciting a prayer, with the man in the centre praying with the others responding a la Catholicism. However, in this case they are not in sync and no power is in the prayer. I'm "told" this is Not who I am. This is unmistakably communicated to me.

I walk past the group and am to pray in my own way. I close my eyes and bow my head and at this point I see from deep down inside me a light comes up like a damn breaching of white intensity so powerful that it is all consuming and with it a wall of sound and vibration so that all my essence becomes one with this Light. I wake up, but remain blinded, and like a train passing by the sound and light quickly pass.

I'm left with tears in my eyes and a new sense of such awe. That was dream 1.

Dream 2 – This dream is similar to the first one but this time I am acutely aware of a spirit behind my right shoulder guiding me in the dream. This time a group of people behind a curtain praying and yet again I sense no power in it. Again, I am told to pray in my own way. I close my eyes, bow my head and I sense what is coming and become alert as I know the power of that which is coming. My arms begin to rise by themselves and by the time they are at shoulder height, I'm again overcome with the Light that has come from within. I wake up blinded and tingling from head to toe and tears in my eyes.

Between dream 2 and 3 my situation has gone from bad to worse. I'm off work as I've reached such a deconstructed state that the fabric of reality literally tears in front of me. I walk as if in a cloud and the three dimensions collapse and my reality becomes flat. Yes, it sounds crazy, but that was the reality of it.

Dream 3 – The scene is outdoor place of worship in forested area. It is night and the stars are counted in the millions. The forest floor is dirt, there are rows of benches, a red totem pole, a giant chair with a giant man, and a tent off to the side with a table of elder natives. I come down and land on the lap of the giant man and he says, "So, what would the messenger say?" He says this with humor in his voice, not mockingly, but with love. A gentle teasing if you will.

From here I sit with the elders in the tent and I'm shown a vision of two bears walking in the forest. After this I'm walking down the Isle of benches towards the red totem pole and look up into the stars. I see galaxies on top of galaxies, there are so many stars out. There is singing in the background and I become acutely aware the music holds intense power. I feel my arms begin to rise on their own, and I can feel whats coming next.

This time the light comes down in a spiral from the stars and I'm over come with the sound, light and vibration and once again wake up in total awe.

Since I've had these first three dreams, I've had a two others where I've encountered this light. The last one was right after a dream that I ended up in the hospital and was hooked up to cardiac monitors and I watched as my ECG had long pauses. To my amazement, two days later I was in the emergency with an abnormal heart rhythm where I was having long pauses and watching them on the monitor. At the time I had no recollection of having dreamed this, however, as I keep a dream journal I read back and was amazed that what I wrote was almost exactly what happened.

Since then I've been going through a transformation in my personal life and professional life. Although, I've been nursing for 10 years, I now feel that I am a healer.

This is why I want to create a health retreat, to provide healing based on consuming real food, exercise that promotes mindful body awareness, and spiritual practice that brings us back to nature.

I would be very interested in hearing from others that have had similar experiences! I'm sure I am not alone!